Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“It was chuffing awful,” moaned Cloud.
“What’s that?” asked Fuen.
“We went to a zoo this morning,” sighed House.
“It was tiny,” said Cloud.
“They had one exhibit,” grumbled House. “Just one dog.”
“Ah,” said Fuen. “Shih Tzu?”
“The worst,” replied Cloud.
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“Well,” sighed Cloud, “I need to sort out my shoplifting problem.”
“Oh,” said Cloud. “How is that working out?”
“Not as well as I’d hoped,” grumbled Cloud.
“No rush though aye?” asked Cloud.
“I guess not,” sighed Cloud. “I’m just taking things one day at a time.”
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“Another argument,” asked Fuen.
“Yeah,” sighed Sprite.
“What is it this time?” asked Fuen.
“The missus says we need more garden furniture,” grumbled Sprite. “My daughter disagrees.”
“Your missus has a point,” said Fuen.
“Eh,” replied Sprite. “I’m sitting on the fence.”
He stood on the ledge. A wave of dizziness washed over him. He did a 2-step stagger, but remained upright.
“Once it’s done,” said Jake, “I get my old life back?”
“Of course,” said Lucy.
He looked at the concrete below. Closing his eyes, he took his last step.
Lucy looked over the ledge at the red stain.
“Should have specified which old life you wanted back,” grinned Lucy.
Another one of the original six horror stories I wrote. It found its way into my second book, the horror anthology, Capricorn.
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“Lord, help me,” pleaded Sprite.
“What’s up?” asked Sprite.
“I think I have hypochondria,” replied Sprite.
“Do you know what hypochondria is?” asked Sprite.
“No idea,” said Sprite. “But I know I’ve got it.”
Looky looky! Something came in the post today!
I need to give it a few read throughs, check for mistakes and then release. I’m going to keep giving the ebook away for free for the first five days of release for the next couple of books. Despite my annoyance with freebie hunters leaving bad reviews, I get away mostly unscathed compared to most indie authors I follow. If you fancy grabbing my first three books, hit the links below.
USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
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Cheers!
“I had a friend who dedicated his entire life to nurturing a lemon tree,” said Sprite.
“Nice,” replied Spectre.
“Yeah,” said Sprite. “Eighty-seven years, man and boy. Right up until the day it was struck by lightning and toppled over on top of him.”
“Damn,” said Spectre. “Did that kill him?”
“Oh aye,” said Sprite. “It was a bitter blow.”
The proof of my fourth book has been despatched by Amazon. Squee! If you fancy picking up my first three books, hit the links below.
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Quick week! In this update:
For this week’s Colour Collective on Twatter. I don’t even know what that name is. I was typing something and deleted it four times, and Edo remained on the screen. So that’s her name.
Man is that a lotta squiggles! Drawn with me Pitt Artist Pens for Inktober, Clouds is now available in my Threadless store for $12. There’s currently an offer for free shipping on orders over $45, handy for a few early Christmas presents! Use the promotional code CHEER7cca8e at checkout. Offer ends December 15th.
Linky: https://littlefears.threadless.com/
Did you see my post the other day about collaborations? I’m going to be looking to do another partnership involving Lucy. I’m gonna be honest. I can’t remember who’s invited me to collaborate in the past. I get 3-5 offers a week across all my media platforms and emails. Across almost a year of Little Fears, I have completely forgotten who’s asked me. I’m going to start bookkeeping better in that respect as I’d like to run more collaborations in the future. Do you fancy a quick collab as I had with Layne, Mel and Anthony? Leave a comment or drop me an email to fears@gmx.co.uk, and I’ll put you on the list.
Have you noticed my weekly update posts have had links to my new patrons? Well, not for the last couple weeks… Do you want a shout out at the bottom of my weekly update posts? Head on over to Patreon and pledge $10 or more a month and not only will you help with Hydra’s feed bill, but you will also get that weekly shout out with a link back to your site. Hit me up on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
She ran onto the escalator, looking down behind her. It stopped at the bottom of the stairs, watching her.
Its short body, awkward arms and legs. It watched her as she rode upwards, to the street, to freedom. It sniffed the air, closing its clear white eyes. She was convinced they could smell her blood. They’d roared into a frenzy when she’d cut her leg running up the tracks.
Nearly there. She looked ahead again and ran up the last few metal steps.
“Sorry,” said the ticket attendant at the top. “They need feeding.”
Another one of the original six horror stories I wrote. It found its way into my second book, the horror anthology, Capricorn.
The image for this story was lost during that god damned, infernal pissing WordPress 5.0 update disaster.
USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
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Cheers!
“New script?” asked Bee.
“Yes,” said Sprite. “Writing a show about two detectives, with a red and white Ford Gran Torino, who solve crimes over the phone.”
“Sounds original,” said Bee. “What’s it called?”
“Star Key and Hash,” replied Sprite.
My next book, Seeking Hydra, will be released soon. If you fancy grabbing my daily tales in paperback for yourself or another Fears fan (just saying, Christmas is coming), hit the links below!
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“I used to be a bit kinky,” said Sprite.
“Oh aye?” asked Spectre.
“Yeah,” laughed Sprite. “I used dressing up as peripheral Star Wars characters in bed.”
“Cripes, that’s a kink,” laughed Spectre.
“Mmhmm,” agreed Sprite. “It was a Boba Fettish.”
My next book, Seeking Hydra, will be released soon. If you fancy grabbing my daily tales in paperback for yourself or another Fears fan (just saying, Christmas is coming), hit the links below!
USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
UK Editions: http://amzn.to/2y6t8v0
Cheers!
Little Fears 