Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Late, again” grumbled Spectre.
“Sorry!” exclaimed Sprite. “Cheese factory exploded on my route over.”
“Oh dear,” said Spectre, “is everyone OK?”
“I think so,” said Sprite, “but de-brie everywhere.”
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“Oh, I am still quite passionate about tea,” said Hydra.
“What’s your preference?” asked Yuffie.
“Typhoo, by a long way,” replied Hydra.
“I once heard Moses made good tea,” pondered Fox.
“Really?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Fox. “Hebrews it.”
Typhoo is the greatest British tea ever created. And I shall dual you if you disagree!
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She walked into the back garden. She hadn’t visited for 10 years, but even in its overgrown state, the house, garden and greenhouse all seemed to look the same.
She nudged the greenhouse door open. It fell from its hinges.
The pot at the bottom right hadn’t been moved, she thought. She buried her hand and pulled out the face of a young man. The dry soil appeared to have preserved it to some degree. She slipped it into her handbag. She might come back for another one in another 10 years.
Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
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“What sorts of things are you into Yuffie?” asked Serpent.
“Stalking,” said Yuffie.
“Really?” said Serpent, “I like jogging, climbing, cinemas, dancing and moonlit beach walks.”
“I know,” replied Yuffie.
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“What kind of nut job signs up for this?” asked the nurse.
“The kind of nut job that asks to be awake during the procedure,” replied patient 7.
The nurse shivered as the doctor began drilling into patient 7’s skull.
“Nearly there,” said the doctor, as he slid the first four wires into the hole.
“What was that?” asked the nurse, as the computer beeped.
“That’s not meant to happen,” replied the doctor, as patient 7’s heart stopped.
A recording of a prior tale. Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
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“I had a job at a bowling alley once,” said Red.
“Really?” asked Serpent.
“Yeah, not for long though,” said Red.
“Contract?” asked Serpent.
“Tenpin,” replied Red.
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“You ordered how many?” gasped Yuffie.
“About 16,000,” said Hydra.
“16,000 bottles of Tipp-Ex,” sighed Yuffie.
“It’s going to cost a fortune, I know,” squeaked Hydra.
“Why Hydra?” asked Yuffie. “Why order so many?”
Hydra dipped his heads down and looked at his shoes. “I made a massive mistake.”
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I wandered into work this morning. Couldn’t see anyone at the front desk. The elevators were empty too. Out of the 42 people on my floor, only Larry and I bothered to turn up this morning. And even then, Larry had hanged himself from a high beam.
I went to make a coffee, but the milk carton was full of blood. I needed someone to put my complaint too, but HR was empty. I headed up to the MD’s office. His head was sitting on the desk. I am not sure where the rest of him was.
I’ll tell you one thing, we won’t be hitting our targets this month.
A brand new Monday horror for you (like you need more horror on a Monday right?). Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
If you want to follow all the videos I have made so far, head over to my TellyTube channel. Want to support the Little Fears so we can continue telling you new daily groaners and horrors? Hit me up on Patreon.
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“Aha, is that the Ebay app?” asked Hydra.
“Yeah, I have decided to sell my old vacuum,” replied Flower.
“Ah,” said Hydra. “For spares and repairs?”
“Well,” said Flower. “It’s just gathering dust…”
I know I haven’t mentioned this much, but the Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! It’s also free to buy the Kindle edition for the next two days.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review.
Cheers!
A fizz followed by a flash of white light.
“For Christ sake,” he said, pulling the light off of his e-reader. He wouldn’t mind, but it was the sixth bulb this week.
The bed sheets rustled as he rummaged in the top drawer.
“I see you,” she said, from underneath the bed.
In case you missed the announcement recently, the Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! It’s also free to buy the Kindle edition for the next three days.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review.
Cheers!
Little Fears 