Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Late, again” grumbled Spectre.
“Sorry!” exclaimed Sprite. “Cheese factory exploded on my route over.”
“Oh dear,” said Spectre, “is everyone OK?”
“I think so,” said Sprite, “but de-brie everywhere.”
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“Oh, I am still quite passionate about tea,” said Hydra.
“What’s your preference?” asked Yuffie.
“Typhoo, by a long way,” replied Hydra.
“I once heard Moses made good tea,” pondered Fox.
“Really?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Fox. “Hebrews it.”
Typhoo is the greatest British tea ever created. And I shall dual you if you disagree!
Enjoy the Little Fears? Consider supporting us on Patreon and we’ll keep the frightful fiction coming!
https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
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There’s been a lot of blog posts on this usual non-bloggy website recently right? I certainly hope there’s not too many of them. If you feel your getting spammed by me, let me know in comments. Useful feedback is always appreciated.
This post goes back to the stuff I said I would post here four months ago and never did. As I have said in previous posts, I write six stories, draw six tiles and doodle one asset every working day. How many do you see? Barely a fraction makes it online. Mostly because I produce a lot of chaff (don’t we all), so I discard the worst. Some I save for a rainy day. Some I intend to give away to Patreons, both digital and physical copies. Some are for saleable artworks (see below).
I’ll confess, that’s just an excuse to show off some banging new product photography that’ll be arriving on my Threadless store soon.
Some of the pictures I doodle are intended to be drawn just for the sake of drawing them. Because I enjoy doodling them and would like to share them. Vulture is one such creature. I originally drew him in black and red. Then I saw Colour Collective were having a Timberwolf grey theme this week and DMStrachan’s Flickr group, Scribblers Cove, had a Second Life exhibition featuring whimsical art. A quick modification, decorate it a lil digitally and it would be rude not to join in right?
And hey, don’t be hating on him cause he looks a bit mean. Vultures provide a necessary environmental function. It’s not their fault there were at the back of the line when Creation was handing out good looks…
Some links for if you want to join in or nobble some of my wares.
Colour Collective: https://twitter.com/clr_collective
Scribblers Cover: https://www.flickr.com/groups/2958431@N25/
DMStrachan’s Blog: http://dmstrachan.co.uk/
Feas Threadless: https://littlefears.threadless.com/
Fears Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
Cheers!
She walked into the back garden. She hadn’t visited for 10 years, but even in its overgrown state, the house, garden and greenhouse all seemed to look the same.
She nudged the greenhouse door open. It fell from its hinges.
The pot at the bottom right hadn’t been moved, she thought. She buried her hand and pulled out the face of a young man. The dry soil appeared to have preserved it to some degree. She slipped it into her handbag. She might come back for another one in another 10 years.
Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
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https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
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“What sorts of things are you into Yuffie?” asked Serpent.
“Stalking,” said Yuffie.
“Really?” said Serpent, “I like jogging, climbing, cinemas, dancing and moonlit beach walks.”
“I know,” replied Yuffie.
Enjoy the Little Fears? Consider supporting us on Patreon and we’ll keep the frightful fiction coming!
https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
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“What kind of nut job signs up for this?” asked the nurse.
“The kind of nut job that asks to be awake during the procedure,” replied patient 7.
The nurse shivered as the doctor began drilling into patient 7’s skull.
“Nearly there,” said the doctor, as he slid the first four wires into the hole.
“What was that?” asked the nurse, as the computer beeped.
“That’s not meant to happen,” replied the doctor, as patient 7’s heart stopped.
A recording of a prior tale. Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
Enjoy the Little Fears? Consider supporting us on Patreon and we’ll keep the frightful fiction coming!
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“I had a job at a bowling alley once,” said Red.
“Really?” asked Serpent.
“Yeah, not for long though,” said Red.
“Contract?” asked Serpent.
“Tenpin,” replied Red.
Enjoy the Little Fears? Consider supporting us on Patreon and we’ll keep the frightful fiction coming!
https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
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“You ordered how many?” gasped Yuffie.
“About 16,000,” said Hydra.
“16,000 bottles of Tipp-Ex,” sighed Yuffie.
“It’s going to cost a fortune, I know,” squeaked Hydra.
“Why Hydra?” asked Yuffie. “Why order so many?”
Hydra dipped his heads down and looked at his shoes. “I made a massive mistake.”
Enjoy the Little Fears? Consider supporting us on Patreon and we’ll keep the frightful fiction coming!
https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
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I wandered into work this morning. Couldn’t see anyone at the front desk. The elevators were empty too. Out of the 42 people on my floor, only Larry and I bothered to turn up this morning. And even then, Larry had hanged himself from a high beam.
I went to make a coffee, but the milk carton was full of blood. I needed someone to put my complaint too, but HR was empty. I headed up to the MD’s office. His head was sitting on the desk. I am not sure where the rest of him was.
I’ll tell you one thing, we won’t be hitting our targets this month.
A brand new Monday horror for you (like you need more horror on a Monday right?). Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
If you want to follow all the videos I have made so far, head over to my TellyTube channel. Want to support the Little Fears so we can continue telling you new daily groaners and horrors? Hit me up on Patreon.
Cheers
“Then I did it again,” sighed Blue.
“Oh dear,” said Human. “Just how many mirrors did you swim into?”
“Twelve in total,” sighed Blue.
“Good grief,” replied Human. “You need to watch out for yourself.”
I know you’re sick of seeing this snippet under the daily tales, Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! Also today, Sunday, is the last day Spiders digital edition is free on Amazon.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review.
Cheers!
Little Fears 