Tag: humor

Serving String

LittleFears46 Comments

Just then, a piece of string walked into the bar.

“Oh hell no,” yelled Reala, “I don’t serve pieces of string here!”

“Darn,” grumbled the piece of string. She wandered back outside, looped herself up and over then tattered her ends up. While straightening her tie she walked back in.

Reala eyed her with suspicion. “Aren’t you the piece of string I threw out a moment ago?”

“No luv,” she replied. “I’m a frayed knot.”

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Atomic Hydra

LittleFears29 Comments

Reala slid Hydra and Yuffie a drink. “Welcome back Hydra.”

“Cheers,” replied Hydra, sipping his lemonade.

“Listen,” said Reala. “You’re sitting on that stool, and the cushion’s compressed under your weight right?”

“Yes,” pondered Hydra.

“So you exist, in a substantial physical form, taking up space around you, atomically,” continued Reala.

“I guess,” replied Hydra. “What does that mean?”

Reala leaned in. “You matter.”

Yeah. A hopeful pun to end Hydras search. Seeking Hydra is free for just one more day!

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AhgD1V
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2iay5QY

Quick thanks to a few more reviewers!

Lisa of Papermore
Chizure of Mnemosyne
Rii of RiiTheWordsmith
Stefanie of Kokopelli Bee Free
Eklstic of Exlastic
Shawn of Mackenzies Dragons Nest
Rita of Twitter

I think that’s everyone… If you have given me a review and I haven’t given you a shout out, poke me!

Seeking Hydra – Free for 1.5 more days

LittleFears13 Comments

Is that a book? Is it free for 1.5 more days? Is it awesome? Is that another cushion… Yes… Yes, it is…

Also, my book is still free, but as the title suggests, only for 1.5 more days. Head on over to Amazon and buy it for $0.00 and you can download it to any PC, tablet, iPad and Kindle ereader.

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AhgD1V
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2iay5QY

If you think the book looks sexy as feck, you can buy the paperback for £12. It would make an awesome Christmas present, just sayin!

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AduEjP
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2icdRq6

If you grab a copy and enjoy, please do leave me a review. It helps me so much! If you leave me a review, let me know in comments and I’ll give you and your own website a shout out during the week.

Cheers everyone! Hope you enjoy!

~

Eat our books: amzn.to/2hMVmVy
Sponsor our Patreon: patreon.com/littlefears
Lick our course: skillshare.com
Drink our art prints & tees: littlefears.threadless.com

 

Heavenly Hydra

LittleFears23 Comments

“What’s up there?” asked Hydra. “At the end of the road.”

“I’m not sure,” replied Yuffie. “We’ve never seen a god, but it’s possible one or many exist.”

“Do we go there as well?” asked Hydra.

“Eventually,” replied Yuffie. “Everyone dies.”

“I hope there’s sorbet,” pondered Hydra.

“That’s heaven is it?” asked Yuffie. “A place filled with ice cream?”

“Yeah,” replied Hydra. “That and all of the dogs that you’ve ever loved licking you awake every morning.”

Seeking Hydra is free for the next 2 days! Yup, that’s our new book. Not in the UK or USA? Drop me a message and I’ll try and get it onto your local Amazon.

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AhgD1V
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2iay5QY

If you think the book looks sexy as feck, you can buy the paperback for £12. It would make an awesome Christmas present, just sayin!

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AduEjP
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2icdRq6

Living Hydra

LittleFears27 Comments

“I took you with me,” continued Yuffie. “Imprinted your image on the minds of a vast number of artists, creatives, dreamers and children in the living world. You grew to your current size. A giant idea, thought and memory. A part of the little girl that continues to survive.”

“What was I to the girl?” asked Hydra. “A dream? A toy? Hope or fear?”

“I don’t know,” replied Yuffie. “I just wanted something of her to live on after her death.”

“You’ve always taught me everything needs to end,” said Hydra. “Life, journeys, fame, books, love and the careers of politicians.”

“I know,” said Yuffie. “I’m sorry Hydra.”

Seeking Hydra is free for the next 3 days! Yup, that’s our new book. Not in the UK or USA? Drop me a message and I’ll try and get it onto your local Amazon.

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AhgD1V
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2iay5QY

If you think the book looks sexy as feck, you can buy the paperback for £12. It would make an awesome Christmas present, just sayin!

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AduEjP
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2icdRq6

A quick shout out to Seeking Hydras reviewers so far.

Jan O of Book em, Jan O
Mike Wolff of Lurking in the Shadows
S. Creative B. of Spellbound

Following Hydra

LittleFears36 Comments

“I saw a young girl walking up the road to the afterlife with you in tow,” said Yuffie. “Usually, when humans die, a whole procession of us walk behind them. We linger here for a while before being forgotten and moving on. With the young girl, there was only you.”

Hydra furrowed his brows. “What else usually follows humans to the world in-between?”

“Everything they ever dreamed of, everything they hoped for, everything they remembered and did in their entire lives,” replied Yuffie. “Also, the tax-man and Facebook updates…”

Seeking Hydra is free for the next 4 days! Yup, that’s our new book. Not in the UK or USA? Drop me a message and I’ll try and get it onto your local Amazon.

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AhgD1V
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2iay5QY

~

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Sponsor our Patreon: patreon.com/littlefears
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Seeking Hydra – Free Little Fears Kindle ebook

LittleFears25 Comments

Here we go. Little Fears Presents: Seeking Hydra. The fourth book in the Little Fears Presents series. The ebook will be free this week. Head on over to Amazon and buy it for $0.00 and you can download it to any PC, tablet, iPad and Kindle ereader.

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AhgD1V
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2iay5QY

If you think the book looks sexy as feck, you can buy the paperback for £12. It would make an awesome Christmas present, just sayin!

USA Edition: http://amzn.to/2AduEjP
UK Edition: http://amzn.to/2icdRq6

If you grab a copy and enjoy, please do leave me a review. It helps me so much! If you leave me a review, let me know in comments and I’ll give you and your own website a shout out during the week.

Fancy a synopsis?

If anything is going to save the Little Fears from awful punch lines, it is not Hydra having an existential crisis. In Seeking Hydra, Great British groaners are the order of the day as the assembled Little Fears make their way through 90 tales of lemon trees, kinky behaviour, confused doors and mystical road hogs. Boxers seek a joke; Beat finds his pop; Sprite sees a Russian president; Lucy shoots a clay pigeon; Emu’s tossed out of a club. Written and posted with scruffy illustrations daily on LittleFears.co.uk, these brief vignettes (50 to 100 words) chronicle the continuing adventures of the Little Fears. With only a sense of whimsy and a deep love of old British comedy, Seeking Hydra will make you groan, cry and laugh until a bit of wee comes out, in a truly original, unoriginal, work of art and fiction.

Cheers everyone! Hope you enjoy!

~

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Finding Hydra

LittleFears19 Comments

“Hello Hydra,” said Yuffie. “I’ve been missing you, where have you been?”

“Seeking my identity,” sighed Hydra.

“Ah,” replied Yuffie. “Are you having an existential crisis?”

“Not sure,” said Hydra. “What’s an existential crisis?”

“Well,” replied Yuffie, “it’s this thing that happens to humans when they can’t sleep at 3 am…”

Howdy! Our new book, Seeking Hydra, will be released today. From Monday to Friday this week the Kindle/ebook edition will be free. Keep an eye out for a post and links later on today!

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Bad Zoos

LittleFears27 Comments

“It was chuffing awful,” moaned Cloud.

“What’s that?” asked Fuen.

“We went to a zoo this morning,” sighed House.

“It was tiny,” said Cloud.

“They had one exhibit,” grumbled House. “Just one dog.”

“Ah,” said Fuen. “Shih Tzu?”

“The worst,” replied Cloud.

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Shoplifting Clouds

LittleFears39 Comments

“Well,” sighed Cloud, “I need to sort out my shoplifting problem.”

“Oh,” said Cloud. “How is that working out?”

“Not as well as I’d hoped,” grumbled Cloud.

“No rush though aye?” asked Cloud.

“I guess not,” sighed Cloud. “I’m just taking things one day at a time.”

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